Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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