I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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