remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Houston, we have a squirter
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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