just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
