I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
