Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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