walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
