just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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