Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
