Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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