yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
