I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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