no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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