I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
