remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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