We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
