Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I will pee on everything he values.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
