Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
