She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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