too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
