bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
