Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
