Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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