Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
