smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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