STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
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He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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