She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
