you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize
