I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
