gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
