ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
