I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I would fuck him just for his dog
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
