I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
