Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
