I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We left the knife in your bed.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
