I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
high people should be assigned attendants
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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