i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize