at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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