Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
