think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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