Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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