He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
