I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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