Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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