I wanna bring you to show and tell
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
