My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
