Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
