All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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