After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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