Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
