His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I need moral support for this bender
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
