do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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