You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
