hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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