So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
