So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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