I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
honey bunches of taint.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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