I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
