She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
