Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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