Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just googled if crying burns calories
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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