You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize